Karma's breakfast of champions......
As karma would have it, Ordinary girl I am not. I don't go for the typical Half-Caf, foamy, frothy, Latte,crap-a-chino in the morning. As a matter of fact truth be told I am not a morning person at all. I am hard to get up, I put off getting up until the last possible minute and forget about talking to me. If you do speak to me my answer always come back as a grunt and nothing more.
One morning that comes to mind is the morning in which it seemed that Karma was against me and my ability to have my breakfast of champions..... Diet Soda. I can't help it I love the stuff that is my super shot of caffeine in the morning and I even had my fellow employees trained at my previous place of employment to not speak to me until my glass or should I say barrel of diet soda was half empty. But sadly on this particular morning I no longer worked there so I guess in all fairness I should forgive those who know not they are doing when they try and approach me before I have drank my breakfast of champions.
As my alarm jolted me out of my peaceful slumber, I rolled and groaned and buried my head under the covers but my son who is a morning person informed me that I needed to get up and take him and his sister to school. He also told me not to forget the whole "work thing" Oh work , Oh Crap I think might as well get this day over with. I Leap up (not really ) more like I roll around in the bed some more then finally make my self get up and get dressed. I make my way into the kitchen fix my mug of ice and Diet soda ... so awesome, so refreshing , so ??? what is that I hear but the dogs barking in the back yard.
When the dogs are barking that means we have vistor or the great houndiani has made her escape. Out the door we go my breakfast of champions abandon on the countertop. And you guessed it the great houndiani had made her escape. We give chase my wyld child, my baby boy and I. Houndiani ran as fast and as hard as she could. I think that I could have caught her by now had I gotten the chance to induldge in my breakfast of champions. Finally houndiani tried of the game of chase plus a bribe of cheese made her come back home. I tell the kids to try and keep the other 2 dogs back while I try to put houndiani back in the pen.
I managed to get houndiani back into her pen but as Karma would have it the other 2 dogs escaped the kids grasp and rushed me leaving muddy paw prints all over my scrubs.
Back into the house I go the clock ticking away and like the rabbit from Alice in Wonderland I was late,late for an important date,work and school. I shed my shoes , then pants as I was walking through the house I grabbed a clean pair of pants off a hanger and try to put them on while walking back to where I had left my shoes. I ran out of the house hoped in the car and took off like a rocket to drop the kids at school we pull up at school the kids leap out of the car before I can get it stopped good. Aw rats my breakfast of champions is still on the counter thank goodness for gas stations I screech to a hault run in grap a bottle of diet soda and get in the line and wait behind what feels like a dozen moms and school kids! I am torn I need my breakfast of champions but I can't be late for work. It is at least a 20 minute drive from home.
I finally get my diet soda checked out and hit the road I crack open the top and take a big sip of my breakfast of champions. I make it to work with a couple of minutes to spare.I grab my purse, my lunch, my book my breakfast of champions turned to shut the car door when like a bad action movie my diet soda tumbles from my hand in slow motion. "Ohhhhh Nooooooo" I say followed by several cuss words when the bottle stopped rolling it landed under my car. What is a girl to do without her breakfast of champions could I get super human strength and lift the car off my diet soda? "Hang on diet soda, I am coming to get you."
I kneel down on the ground look under the car but don's see it. Maybe if I back the car up a little I can get to it. I hop it the car and hear a cracking sound! "What was that I think." I get out of the car and look there is my breakfast of champions on the ground pulverized.
Into to work I must go can't dwell on the loss of my breakfast of champions. Then I remember we have a soda machine in the back maybe I can get enough change to get a soda. I look in my purse in my pockets, in my desk drawer and behold enough change for a diet soda hurray I am giddy with the fact that I can have my breakfast of champions after all. I place my change into the slot clink, clink, clink, clink, clink. (did I mention that it was mostly dimes and nickles) clink, clink, clink, clink Ka-thump , ka thump with a thud my can of diet soda falls to the bottom to the machine. " Hurray." I think. I reach down pick up the can and it feels lighter what it also has a huge dent in the bottom. "What is this tom foolery Karma." "Oh crap." I got a dud my diet soda is defective. Very fuuny karma , Very funny.
One morning that comes to mind is the morning in which it seemed that Karma was against me and my ability to have my breakfast of champions..... Diet Soda. I can't help it I love the stuff that is my super shot of caffeine in the morning and I even had my fellow employees trained at my previous place of employment to not speak to me until my glass or should I say barrel of diet soda was half empty. But sadly on this particular morning I no longer worked there so I guess in all fairness I should forgive those who know not they are doing when they try and approach me before I have drank my breakfast of champions.
As my alarm jolted me out of my peaceful slumber, I rolled and groaned and buried my head under the covers but my son who is a morning person informed me that I needed to get up and take him and his sister to school. He also told me not to forget the whole "work thing" Oh work , Oh Crap I think might as well get this day over with. I Leap up (not really ) more like I roll around in the bed some more then finally make my self get up and get dressed. I make my way into the kitchen fix my mug of ice and Diet soda ... so awesome, so refreshing , so ??? what is that I hear but the dogs barking in the back yard.
When the dogs are barking that means we have vistor or the great houndiani has made her escape. Out the door we go my breakfast of champions abandon on the countertop. And you guessed it the great houndiani had made her escape. We give chase my wyld child, my baby boy and I. Houndiani ran as fast and as hard as she could. I think that I could have caught her by now had I gotten the chance to induldge in my breakfast of champions. Finally houndiani tried of the game of chase plus a bribe of cheese made her come back home. I tell the kids to try and keep the other 2 dogs back while I try to put houndiani back in the pen.
I managed to get houndiani back into her pen but as Karma would have it the other 2 dogs escaped the kids grasp and rushed me leaving muddy paw prints all over my scrubs.
Back into the house I go the clock ticking away and like the rabbit from Alice in Wonderland I was late,late for an important date,work and school. I shed my shoes , then pants as I was walking through the house I grabbed a clean pair of pants off a hanger and try to put them on while walking back to where I had left my shoes. I ran out of the house hoped in the car and took off like a rocket to drop the kids at school we pull up at school the kids leap out of the car before I can get it stopped good. Aw rats my breakfast of champions is still on the counter thank goodness for gas stations I screech to a hault run in grap a bottle of diet soda and get in the line and wait behind what feels like a dozen moms and school kids! I am torn I need my breakfast of champions but I can't be late for work. It is at least a 20 minute drive from home.
I finally get my diet soda checked out and hit the road I crack open the top and take a big sip of my breakfast of champions. I make it to work with a couple of minutes to spare.I grab my purse, my lunch, my book my breakfast of champions turned to shut the car door when like a bad action movie my diet soda tumbles from my hand in slow motion. "Ohhhhh Nooooooo" I say followed by several cuss words when the bottle stopped rolling it landed under my car. What is a girl to do without her breakfast of champions could I get super human strength and lift the car off my diet soda? "Hang on diet soda, I am coming to get you."
I kneel down on the ground look under the car but don's see it. Maybe if I back the car up a little I can get to it. I hop it the car and hear a cracking sound! "What was that I think." I get out of the car and look there is my breakfast of champions on the ground pulverized.
Into to work I must go can't dwell on the loss of my breakfast of champions. Then I remember we have a soda machine in the back maybe I can get enough change to get a soda. I look in my purse in my pockets, in my desk drawer and behold enough change for a diet soda hurray I am giddy with the fact that I can have my breakfast of champions after all. I place my change into the slot clink, clink, clink, clink, clink. (did I mention that it was mostly dimes and nickles) clink, clink, clink, clink Ka-thump , ka thump with a thud my can of diet soda falls to the bottom to the machine. " Hurray." I think. I reach down pick up the can and it feels lighter what it also has a huge dent in the bottom. "What is this tom foolery Karma." "Oh crap." I got a dud my diet soda is defective. Very fuuny karma , Very funny.
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