Karma and the blues......
Of all the things that karma has blessed/cursed me with the biggest of all my struggles is the blues, or when facing the reality of it all is really something worse. Something I wrestle with on a daily basis, depression.
Websters defines Depression: as a severe despondency and dejection typically felt over a period of time and accompanied by a feeling of hopelessness and inadequacy. Yep that about sums up how I have been feeling of late. Of all the things that Karma has saddle me with this is the one thing I can't truly shake off. It is like going down hill at full speed with out a crash helmet. Most days I hide it well for after all I was never one to allow karma to bring me down even on my worst days. But this past month I have been unable to run from my unseen enemy that I call depression.
I write this for everyone out there who has those days when they would rather just stay at home in the bed under the covers, those when nothing can take away that feeling those blues, those feeling of being lost of seeking something that they cannot seem to name or find , I also write this for my self .
On my lowest of lows I truly wanted to just disappear a feeling of helplessness and hopelessness would always follow this.
This time around I will just try to "Keep swimming, Just Keep swimming." I wrote once that depression for me was like running from an unseen enemy. So with that in mind..... Here is my writing or poem or whatever you call it.
I have an unseen enemy, a creature dark and scary one that nightmares are born of. No one can see it but me.
No one knows feels it presence but me.
I can feel it creeping up on me. Ready to do battle.
It is a race I must run daily I look beside me and there it is.
I run and run as fast as I can. When I look back there is nothing there. I slow my run to a jog.
I check behind me just to make sure, nothing so I slow my jog to a walk at last I am free. I have won I made it .
I can rest now.
When I feel it coming up fast there is it right beside me. My unseen enemy, my nightmare
So once again I must run this race all over again.
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