Karma's Curse
As Karma would have it I developed before my classmate's by the time I was in 6th grade I began to blossom in the chest area if you know what I mean. Most women pay a lot of money to have the Curse/blessing that Karma bestowed upon me.
But being only 5'3 with some junk in the trunk to match lets just say I was less then happy about the latest development of my unfortunate growth spurt during my teenage years. I think my peers were jealous this was the 80's were everything was bigger hair , shoulders, why not boobs too? The girls I went to school with looked down on me as if I somehow caused this to happen. I was teased to no end often the girls would come up behind me and try to check to see if I was wearing a bra that day. (Yes I wore one everyday ) I had even taken to sleeping in a bra because I heard a rumor that if you slept in a bra your chest would not grow as fast. Yeah, I know not true but I still had to give it a try.
The boys never looked me in the eye I usually only saw the top of their heads because they were always looking down at my chest. Any boy brave enough to ask me out, or tried to befriend could never even remember the color of my eyes seeing as how they never gazed into them lovely like they did the other girls they dated.
I hated P.E. I could not bounce on the trampoline,run after a ball, jog , or any other P.E. type related activity without causing chaos among the boys in the class and evil looks and whispers from the girls.
It was in P.E. one day that surround by several girls in the class I was questioned about where I got my clothes , bras, and why were they so big did I have some kind of surgery? No,I stated this are all natural God given homegrown. Then the debate turned heated when two girls whispered fiercely back and forth about who was going to ask me the next question.(by this stage in the game I was sick of it all and if they fell off (the boobs)I would not mind, I use to pray they would shrink over night) "So." I state. " Ask, me whatever you want." Girl number 1 ask " Are they two separate boobs or is it one big boob? " Wow I think what a bunch of idiots. I guess we know who was not paying attention in health class. "No, I stated there are two of them." Girl number 2 ask "Are you a virgin?" "Huh, I ask what does that have to do with breast size?" "Well" Girl number 2 states " The more sex you have the bigger your breast gets right?" Oh brother like I said someone was not paying attention in health class. "Yes, I am a virgin. " I answer back. " So I hope that answers all your questions for today." I say and walk off.
Let me tell you a few things you can not do when you are cursed/blessed as I am.
1. You can not stand too close behind someone in line because they will think you are tapping them on the shoulder and will turn around and say "Excuse me did you want something?"
2. You can not reach up and weigh some produce at your work with out ringing up something with them on the cash register and having the customer look at you crazy and say "Excuse me I think you rang up something with your um, you know your um,CHEST."
3. One size does not fit all.
4. You can not eat anything without it falling in your shirt and you have to get up and go to the bathroom to dig it out.
5.You can not sleep on your stomach no matter how hard you try.
As Karma would have it my senior year in High School I had decided to try and loose some weight I believe I was about a size 11. I heard a rumor that if you loose weight you will not only loose a pants size or two you will loose a bra size. I am here to tell you that I wore a size 9 dress to the prom. But sadly my cup size went up to a DD. So I guess we can put that rumor to rest.
By the time I gave birth to my last child I had lost weight again. And gone up another Bra size. (I hope this is all not TMI for anyone reading this)
By the year 2000 I begin to have major back and shoulder trouble I had enough of Karma's Curse/blessing I decided to do something about it. I made a visit to my Doc. " Doc, I say." I would like to get rid of this curse/blessing that Karma has bestowed upon me." After lots of paperwork and being turned down by my husband's insurance and then my own insurance. After many , many phone calls to each insurance I was given the go ahead to rid myself of karma's cruse.
A Trip to Little Rock to meet my surgeon, then to buy some special bra's, an appointment was made. After more paperwork and more waiting hubs and I made the trip to have the surgery. I was so excited at last I would be able to wear cute lacey bra's. The surgery lasted about 6 hrs , when I woke up I remember lots of pain, the nurse came over and then it was lights out for me. When I work up again I was in a room with hubs beside me sitting in a chair. "Well." I ask " Are they smaller?" Hubs laughs and says " I am sure they are but you will have to wait for the swelling to go down."
I was so excited when I put a "real" bra on for the first time. My clothes all fit so much better in the chest area and the back pain was gone just like I felt like a new person. After a six week recovery period it was back to work for me. My first day back my co-workers said "Wow you look like a different person." " My boss asked what I would did if they grew back." Have it done again." I said. At the end of the my work day I was standing in the back room waiting to check in a vendor when said vendor walks in and say " Hello, Are you new?" I looked at the guy and said " Tell me you are being funny because I have checked you in everyday for the past 5 years." He said " Gee you face really does not look familier to me."
Ha ha Karma very funny.
But being only 5'3 with some junk in the trunk to match lets just say I was less then happy about the latest development of my unfortunate growth spurt during my teenage years. I think my peers were jealous this was the 80's were everything was bigger hair , shoulders, why not boobs too? The girls I went to school with looked down on me as if I somehow caused this to happen. I was teased to no end often the girls would come up behind me and try to check to see if I was wearing a bra that day. (Yes I wore one everyday ) I had even taken to sleeping in a bra because I heard a rumor that if you slept in a bra your chest would not grow as fast. Yeah, I know not true but I still had to give it a try.
The boys never looked me in the eye I usually only saw the top of their heads because they were always looking down at my chest. Any boy brave enough to ask me out, or tried to befriend could never even remember the color of my eyes seeing as how they never gazed into them lovely like they did the other girls they dated.
I hated P.E. I could not bounce on the trampoline,run after a ball, jog , or any other P.E. type related activity without causing chaos among the boys in the class and evil looks and whispers from the girls.
It was in P.E. one day that surround by several girls in the class I was questioned about where I got my clothes , bras, and why were they so big did I have some kind of surgery? No,I stated this are all natural God given homegrown. Then the debate turned heated when two girls whispered fiercely back and forth about who was going to ask me the next question.(by this stage in the game I was sick of it all and if they fell off (the boobs)I would not mind, I use to pray they would shrink over night) "So." I state. " Ask, me whatever you want." Girl number 1 ask " Are they two separate boobs or is it one big boob? " Wow I think what a bunch of idiots. I guess we know who was not paying attention in health class. "No, I stated there are two of them." Girl number 2 ask "Are you a virgin?" "Huh, I ask what does that have to do with breast size?" "Well" Girl number 2 states " The more sex you have the bigger your breast gets right?" Oh brother like I said someone was not paying attention in health class. "Yes, I am a virgin. " I answer back. " So I hope that answers all your questions for today." I say and walk off.
Let me tell you a few things you can not do when you are cursed/blessed as I am.
1. You can not stand too close behind someone in line because they will think you are tapping them on the shoulder and will turn around and say "Excuse me did you want something?"
2. You can not reach up and weigh some produce at your work with out ringing up something with them on the cash register and having the customer look at you crazy and say "Excuse me I think you rang up something with your um, you know your um,CHEST."
3. One size does not fit all.
4. You can not eat anything without it falling in your shirt and you have to get up and go to the bathroom to dig it out.
5.You can not sleep on your stomach no matter how hard you try.
As Karma would have it my senior year in High School I had decided to try and loose some weight I believe I was about a size 11. I heard a rumor that if you loose weight you will not only loose a pants size or two you will loose a bra size. I am here to tell you that I wore a size 9 dress to the prom. But sadly my cup size went up to a DD. So I guess we can put that rumor to rest.
By the time I gave birth to my last child I had lost weight again. And gone up another Bra size. (I hope this is all not TMI for anyone reading this)
By the year 2000 I begin to have major back and shoulder trouble I had enough of Karma's Curse/blessing I decided to do something about it. I made a visit to my Doc. " Doc, I say." I would like to get rid of this curse/blessing that Karma has bestowed upon me." After lots of paperwork and being turned down by my husband's insurance and then my own insurance. After many , many phone calls to each insurance I was given the go ahead to rid myself of karma's cruse.
A Trip to Little Rock to meet my surgeon, then to buy some special bra's, an appointment was made. After more paperwork and more waiting hubs and I made the trip to have the surgery. I was so excited at last I would be able to wear cute lacey bra's. The surgery lasted about 6 hrs , when I woke up I remember lots of pain, the nurse came over and then it was lights out for me. When I work up again I was in a room with hubs beside me sitting in a chair. "Well." I ask " Are they smaller?" Hubs laughs and says " I am sure they are but you will have to wait for the swelling to go down."
I was so excited when I put a "real" bra on for the first time. My clothes all fit so much better in the chest area and the back pain was gone just like I felt like a new person. After a six week recovery period it was back to work for me. My first day back my co-workers said "Wow you look like a different person." " My boss asked what I would did if they grew back." Have it done again." I said. At the end of the my work day I was standing in the back room waiting to check in a vendor when said vendor walks in and say " Hello, Are you new?" I looked at the guy and said " Tell me you are being funny because I have checked you in everyday for the past 5 years." He said " Gee you face really does not look familier to me."
Ha ha Karma very funny.
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