Karma's trip to Retail Hell
As I have told you before I worked at a grocery store for 21 years that is pretty much half my life so when I tell you I prefer to think of going to the store as something I dread, loath, despise, as well a trip to retail hell. I know that look in the cashier's eyes you know the one where it is the end of there work day and they are totally sick of people, that look of they would rather be shot in the foot than have to check out one more person. Well believe me brother I feel your pain but really, really karma does that have to be the person that I by some twist of fact end up in there line.
So sit down get comfy as I tell you about my trip to retail hell. As I gazed lovingly into my husband's eyes and said I do 21 years ago it never dawned on me that our future children would top and surpass his 6'3 Height , that I would have to drive over 50 miles just to buy clothes and shoes for these shrek size kids. Which brings us to the day several weeks when my baby boy said " Mom I need a shirt for the school play." "Ok" I say I will shop at the store in the next town over where I work." As I searched high and low for a shirt long enough to fit." I knew in the pit of my stomach that I would have to make a long trip to the mall for said shirt.
We arose early to hopefully beat the crowd of weekend before Thanksgiving shoppers grabbed our breakfast to go and set out on our way. Just a quick trip there and back I think to myself.
We arrive at the second hand store my favorite store every were there are bargains for everyone but sadly non for baby boy. Next stop the mall off we go were due to the upcoming Christmas season there were plenty of salespeople to happen to be more than eager to help. Sadly the one I got was busy,busy, busy and had only a little time to point me in the direction of the big and tall men's section(by the way I shop this store a lot so I knew where the section was). "I already looked there." I stated. "Is that the only shirts you have?" With a big cheesy smile he leads me to another rack of shirts. " 40 bucks for a shirt he will wear one time?" "No, thanks." I say " Well mam." He says that is all we have in the shrek size."
Off we go further down into retail hell to another store. At last, At last Karma cut me a break when we found a shirt in baby boy's size and on sale and a coupon. Hip , Hip Hooray. Now all I have to do is stop by a big chain hardware type store to pick up something a fellow employee asked me to get. We make our way out to the car I high five my self a shirt with a coupon , on sale.
I get into the car put the key in the ignition but when I go to but the car in gear I still have the key chain full of keys in my hand, only one of the keys (i.e. the key to my car) is broken off in my hand. Baby boy looks at me and says "Oh, Shiiiiiitttttt, Mom." " What are we going to do now?" "Well I say since the car is already started I guess we will go to our other stops.
We arrive at the big box hardware type store. " Ok, dude." I say to baby boy "Let's just lock the car up and we will be good to go." We walk around locking all the doors manually, just when my son gets to the last door." I say wait , stop, and stick my arm out to keep the door from closing." The door slams into my arm Oh man is that going to leave a mark. Baby boy looks at me and says"Mom are you ok , Why did you do that?" I say " If we lock the doors how are we going to get in the car with a broken key?" " So what now?" He ask." " Lock everything in the trunk." At least that way we can get everything out when we get home.
We quickly find what we are looking for at big box type hardware store may our way to the line wow this is not such a long line I think to myself. We wait , and wait and wait and wait. When we finally get up to be checked out. I find out what is taking so long. The girl behind the counter is talking to or should I say flirting with a fellow co-worker she is smiling and saying " Well Bobby my girlfriends and I are going to the club tonight, would you like to join us?" Bobby gives a big old grin to the girl and says "Sure would my sexy brown sugar babe." Then he gives her a wink. Girl at counter bats her eyelashes and ask if he has a friend for her friend . I step up to the counter give her my mean face, stink eye look and ask her to check me out so I can go home. She looks at me frowns because I guess I interrupted her speed dating time. She begrudgingly checks me out. After an hour in the store we make our way back to the car. "Oh mom." baby boy says I need some socks for my tux for choir and also we need something for supper. I sigh.
Well I think I am already in Pine Bluff I might as well make my way to the lowest level of retail hell. You guessed it.A store that everyone knows by heart. That one that is know around the world. Well I can't say it's name but you know the one. We enter the store to a crowd of folks most who have a turkey and several other Thanksgiving type items in their carts. I grab a cart and weave in and out of those who have not seen so and so in ages and have decided to catch up on old times in the middle of the aisle. Also present that day was the label readers the ones that read every label on every item before they decided if they want to buy it are not, I mean come on the toilet paper has the same softness as it always had it is not any softer , or has a prize in the bottom since the last time you bought it.
I have a system I park my cart at the end of the aisle and weave in and out of the visitors , label readers and the lost who have never been inside this store or any store for that matter. We get our items make our way to the check out.
There I try to gage who is the quickest and most experienced of the cashiers. But this too is not for the faint of heart because you have the double liners they stand between two lines to try and jump in the shorter of the two lines. You also have the couponers this is someone who has watched too many episodes of the show extreme couponers they have a lunch box, or binder FULL of coupons plus a paper from competing stores. You never,ever want to get behind these folks. I find the shortest, line get in it.
After 10 minutes the line seems to have stopped. I peer around the lady in frount of me who is next to be checked out. The lady in frount of her has a WIC voucher, Coupons, and apparently she is shopping for her whole neighborhood becasue she keeps saying. " That is a separate order." and " This item get rang up by it self." Oh Man , too late know to find another line I am trapped. Baby boy looks at me and says"How about I go get us a nice cold soda while you wait in line." "Sure." I say " Here is some drink money and here is some money for video games" I state "I guess I will see you sometime tomorrow so take your time." The lady in front of me begans to chuckle I guess she thought I was the entertainment for the line.
Finally it is laughing lady's turn she quickly put her items on the converyer belt. Cashier girl scans items , bags them up and tell laughing lady the total. Laughing lady says " Oh yeah I have some coupons." Cashier girls gives a eye roll , take coupons scans them Laughing lady pays for items and leaves.
My turn I am fast I put my items on the belt, get my cash out I am ready. ...... BUT cashier girl gets that look in her eyes the one I told you about earlier. She is tired, she is sick of people, she has checked out too many people today. She slaps and slams my items as if they have offended her in some way. She slings them into the sack. I roll my eyes and pay for my items. Look at her and say I feel your pain sister and walk away.
Thanks Karma
So sit down get comfy as I tell you about my trip to retail hell. As I gazed lovingly into my husband's eyes and said I do 21 years ago it never dawned on me that our future children would top and surpass his 6'3 Height , that I would have to drive over 50 miles just to buy clothes and shoes for these shrek size kids. Which brings us to the day several weeks when my baby boy said " Mom I need a shirt for the school play." "Ok" I say I will shop at the store in the next town over where I work." As I searched high and low for a shirt long enough to fit." I knew in the pit of my stomach that I would have to make a long trip to the mall for said shirt.
We arose early to hopefully beat the crowd of weekend before Thanksgiving shoppers grabbed our breakfast to go and set out on our way. Just a quick trip there and back I think to myself.
We arrive at the second hand store my favorite store every were there are bargains for everyone but sadly non for baby boy. Next stop the mall off we go were due to the upcoming Christmas season there were plenty of salespeople to happen to be more than eager to help. Sadly the one I got was busy,busy, busy and had only a little time to point me in the direction of the big and tall men's section(by the way I shop this store a lot so I knew where the section was). "I already looked there." I stated. "Is that the only shirts you have?" With a big cheesy smile he leads me to another rack of shirts. " 40 bucks for a shirt he will wear one time?" "No, thanks." I say " Well mam." He says that is all we have in the shrek size."
Off we go further down into retail hell to another store. At last, At last Karma cut me a break when we found a shirt in baby boy's size and on sale and a coupon. Hip , Hip Hooray. Now all I have to do is stop by a big chain hardware type store to pick up something a fellow employee asked me to get. We make our way out to the car I high five my self a shirt with a coupon , on sale.
I get into the car put the key in the ignition but when I go to but the car in gear I still have the key chain full of keys in my hand, only one of the keys (i.e. the key to my car) is broken off in my hand. Baby boy looks at me and says "Oh, Shiiiiiitttttt, Mom." " What are we going to do now?" "Well I say since the car is already started I guess we will go to our other stops.
We arrive at the big box hardware type store. " Ok, dude." I say to baby boy "Let's just lock the car up and we will be good to go." We walk around locking all the doors manually, just when my son gets to the last door." I say wait , stop, and stick my arm out to keep the door from closing." The door slams into my arm Oh man is that going to leave a mark. Baby boy looks at me and says"Mom are you ok , Why did you do that?" I say " If we lock the doors how are we going to get in the car with a broken key?" " So what now?" He ask." " Lock everything in the trunk." At least that way we can get everything out when we get home.
We quickly find what we are looking for at big box type hardware store may our way to the line wow this is not such a long line I think to myself. We wait , and wait and wait and wait. When we finally get up to be checked out. I find out what is taking so long. The girl behind the counter is talking to or should I say flirting with a fellow co-worker she is smiling and saying " Well Bobby my girlfriends and I are going to the club tonight, would you like to join us?" Bobby gives a big old grin to the girl and says "Sure would my sexy brown sugar babe." Then he gives her a wink. Girl at counter bats her eyelashes and ask if he has a friend for her friend . I step up to the counter give her my mean face, stink eye look and ask her to check me out so I can go home. She looks at me frowns because I guess I interrupted her speed dating time. She begrudgingly checks me out. After an hour in the store we make our way back to the car. "Oh mom." baby boy says I need some socks for my tux for choir and also we need something for supper. I sigh.
Well I think I am already in Pine Bluff I might as well make my way to the lowest level of retail hell. You guessed it.A store that everyone knows by heart. That one that is know around the world. Well I can't say it's name but you know the one. We enter the store to a crowd of folks most who have a turkey and several other Thanksgiving type items in their carts. I grab a cart and weave in and out of those who have not seen so and so in ages and have decided to catch up on old times in the middle of the aisle. Also present that day was the label readers the ones that read every label on every item before they decided if they want to buy it are not, I mean come on the toilet paper has the same softness as it always had it is not any softer , or has a prize in the bottom since the last time you bought it.
I have a system I park my cart at the end of the aisle and weave in and out of the visitors , label readers and the lost who have never been inside this store or any store for that matter. We get our items make our way to the check out.
There I try to gage who is the quickest and most experienced of the cashiers. But this too is not for the faint of heart because you have the double liners they stand between two lines to try and jump in the shorter of the two lines. You also have the couponers this is someone who has watched too many episodes of the show extreme couponers they have a lunch box, or binder FULL of coupons plus a paper from competing stores. You never,ever want to get behind these folks. I find the shortest, line get in it.
After 10 minutes the line seems to have stopped. I peer around the lady in frount of me who is next to be checked out. The lady in frount of her has a WIC voucher, Coupons, and apparently she is shopping for her whole neighborhood becasue she keeps saying. " That is a separate order." and " This item get rang up by it self." Oh Man , too late know to find another line I am trapped. Baby boy looks at me and says"How about I go get us a nice cold soda while you wait in line." "Sure." I say " Here is some drink money and here is some money for video games" I state "I guess I will see you sometime tomorrow so take your time." The lady in front of me begans to chuckle I guess she thought I was the entertainment for the line.
Finally it is laughing lady's turn she quickly put her items on the converyer belt. Cashier girl scans items , bags them up and tell laughing lady the total. Laughing lady says " Oh yeah I have some coupons." Cashier girls gives a eye roll , take coupons scans them Laughing lady pays for items and leaves.
My turn I am fast I put my items on the belt, get my cash out I am ready. ...... BUT cashier girl gets that look in her eyes the one I told you about earlier. She is tired, she is sick of people, she has checked out too many people today. She slaps and slams my items as if they have offended her in some way. She slings them into the sack. I roll my eyes and pay for my items. Look at her and say I feel your pain sister and walk away.
Thanks Karma
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