Karma is a fickle bitch

As karma would have it , I have discovered that I have superpowers. How do I know this you may ask well sit back and I will tell you a story of how I found out...... It was on a Saturday night that I was hanging out with my younger sis -K- and our friend K.B. after a night of being mall rats and cruising town we decided that we needed some pizza to feast on so off we go to a local pizza place. Upon entering the establishment sis and K.B. had to ummmm powder their noses, so I said "I will get us a table." Well as karma would have it this was one of those places that had a sign up saying "Please wait to be seated." so wait I did, and wait , and wait. Finally spying a waitress "Ms." I say and give a wave.Waitress whizzes by quickly. Maybe she is busy I think. A different waitress moseys by "Excuse me." I say again I even reach out and tap her on the shoulder Waitress # 2 keeps walking she even glances at me and then her shoulder. "Wow I thi...

I have stated once before how I hate October , well on this day I will tell you why.I will tell you  what happened changed me and my family, what  put tiny little cracks in our hearts that may never be filled the same way again. In October I feel like I am going to break into a million pieces and never be made whole again. I get quiet and try to bury myself in work and projects, I try to make my mind be quiet and stop thinking of could of , should of , would of and this is why...... As Karma would in October 2007 my bff called and told me that her(daughter) Beautiful Ballerina who was 17 at the time was sick and in the hospital with pneumonia." She is pretty sick." "But she should be feeling better in a couple of days, please pray for her." Bff asked. "Ok sure thing let me know if there is anything you need." I told her. Each day I called for updates on our Beautiful Ballerina. Each day was the same ,"No Better." Bff would tell. I would hang up...

As Karma would have it a few weeks ago my boss lady called me from her cell phone and ask that I bring her something she had forgotten out to the car, Well me being the dutiful Secretary that I am I retrieved the item from her desk and went outside to hand it to her as I was walking to the car my feet became caught in a crack in the sidewalk and down I went timber.... and splat on the sidewalk face first. My boss lady later commented that I seem to fall in slow motion. When  later telling the story I told my BFF this she too stated that I did have an uncanny ability of being about to fall in slow motion. I wondered to myself it this was a talent or a superpower or what. It made me think of another time in a Galaxy far, far away called the 80's...... As Karma would have it there is not a graceful bone in my body although I can fall with style. When BFF and I were in Jr. high school before we got our  Drivers License we walked every were we wanted or needed to go. Livi...

Karma and her BFF's Further Adventures As karma would have it my adventures with my BFF did not end when we left behind our teen years. No As karma would have it they continued until, Well so far they have not stopped...... Just a few short months ago my BFF and I were hanging out at her house. When BFF said"Oh, No I need to water my plants on the front porch while it is on my mind." "Give me a hand, will you?" She asked. Always one to help out my BFF "Sure." I stated "What can I do?" I asked. BFF goes to the sink and fills a couple of Plastic Pitchers with water turns to hand me one and says. " I am going to water the plants and then I will give you this pitcher to refill so I don't have to run back and forth."  Sounds simple enough right? BFF pours water into the first hanging plant hands the Pitcher off to me I shut the front door and walk across the living room to the kitchen where I turn the water on and begin to fill...

As Karma would have it. Dear old dad and mom too of course got saddle with 3 daughters. No sons for them to go hunting and fishing with. No sons to pass the old pigskin with so as karma would have it ... I was for all intents and purpose's I was their only "son/tomboy" So I was dear old dad's right hand girl when it came to fixing cars, going fishing and other things. I even caught my first fish with a kid size fishing pole that came with an orange plastic fish only dear old dad added a real hook and worm to allow me to fish for real. When I was was a wee lass I had a big imagination, so when I hear the bullfrog croaking late in the evenings during our dad and daughter fishing trip. My overactive imagination thought bullfrog oh snap they must be huge as in as big as a bullfrog some my answer to imagine I conjured up was to say "Daddy I hear the bullfrogs talking." and " Do you know what they are saying?" "What?" Dear old dad would ask. ...

Well I promised you more adventures of Karma's BFF so here we go........ As karma would have it was I was hanging out in my room on a sunny summer day when my Princess phone rang.(In case you did not grow up in the 80's some kids had there own phone lines, due to the fact that cell phones had not been invented yet.) It was my BFF "Help." she says "I need you to come over right away as fast as you can." she says quickly. "Are you OK?" I ask "Well there seems to be a problem with an appliance and I need your help." I hang up the phone jump into the karma mobile(more about it later) zoom over to BFF's house. Before I am even out of the karma mobile Bff is at the door , "Oh good you are here." she says frantically. "Where is the victim?" I ask. "Hurry this way to the living room." she says while walking quickly down the hall. I follow behind her where to my horror her mom's vacuum  (a canister type/the...

As karma would have it. My best friend and I have the same first name. We have been friends since the 6th grade. Two of our children were even born within a month of each other. We are total opposites when it comes to personality but as karma would have it we go together like  Lucy and Ethel, like Laverne and Shirley, like Betty and Wilma, anyway you get it, right? Not unlike our famous fellow duo's when we got together hi jinks and hilarity occurred. So sit back and at least get ready for a chuckle or two. First up-Karma cleans house Like most teens in the 80's we had house cleaning duties that were to be done before we could cruise town or hang out. My BFF and I would usually meet at one another's house and help each other with said house cleaning duties. On this particular day dishes were to be washed and put away, to save time we decided that we would use the dishwasher this was not really a time saver seeing how the dishwasher was heavy, the kitchen tab...

As Karma would have it I developed before my classmate's by the time I was in 6th grade I began to blossom in the chest area if you know what I mean. Most women pay a lot of money to have the Curse/blessing that Karma bestowed upon me. But being only 5'3 with some junk in the trunk to match lets just say I was less then happy about the latest development of my unfortunate growth spurt during my teenage years. I think my peers were jealous this was the 80's were everything was bigger hair , shoulders, why not boobs too? The girls I went to school with looked down on me as if I somehow caused this to happen. I was teased to no end often  the girls would come up behind me and try to check to see if I was wearing a bra that day. (Yes I wore one everyday ) I had even taken to sleeping in a bra because I heard a rumor that if you slept in a bra your chest would not grow as fast. Yeah, I know not true but I still had to give it a try. The boys never looked me in the eye I usual...

As I have told you before I worked at a grocery store for 21 years that is pretty much half my life so when I tell you I prefer to think of going to the store as something I dread, loath, despise, as well a trip to retail hell.  I know that look in the cashier's eyes you know the one where it is the end of there work day and they are totally sick of people, that look of they would rather be shot in the foot than have to check out one more person. Well believe me brother I feel your  pain but really, really karma does that have to be the person that I by some twist of fact end up in there line. So sit down get comfy as I tell you about my trip to retail hell. As I gazed lovingly  into my husband's eyes and said I do 21 years ago it never dawned on me that our future children would top and surpass his 6'3 Height , that I would have to drive over 50 miles just to buy clothes and shoes for these shrek size kids. Which brings us to the day several weeks when my bab...